Excuses

I found a website which has excuses for being late for school or for forgetting your homework. There's about 200 excuses and they all really did happen. Here's one that I thought took too much time and effort to come up with:

"226. Second semester freshman year I managed to attend fifteen classes combined between five courses for the entire semester. The way in which I did this would surely send me to hell if I weren't Jewish (no hell:)) This was a two step process. First, I told one of my teachers that a friend of mine from home had gotten into a car accident and I had to go home and see him. Two weeks and no classes later, I was writing an e-mail to the same professor to explain my absences. I wrote that my friend had sadly passed away and that I had to attend the funeral in... and this was the kicker... Hungary. Why Hungary? Why not? No death certificate necessary as well as two more weeks without class. I passed this info on to all my other teachers and it worked for three weeks. Then they started asking questions so I had to tell them I was taking his death pretty hard. Bam! Two more weeks without classes. At the end of the semester I had missed most of my classes and all of my midterms so I went to see the school psychologist to tell him I was more or less having a nervous break down. A few more phone calls to my teachers (who were more than sympathetic) and I finished the semester with two B's, two B+'s, and one F (the heartless bastard). What's more, I actually had a friend at school who was from Hungary and was also a slacker. Around finals, he hadn't turned in his final or his midterm for a class we were in together. He told me he was going to tell the teacher a friend of his in Hungary had died. Thank God he talked to me first and we managed to straighten things out. We decided that he had a friend in Turkey that had died. He got a B+, too."